I am a mess, I know, but I’m still right here.
I just take what I have, but I hide from my fear.
But I soldier on, no matter how things appear,
I’m alone, but I’ll survive, no matter what comes this year.

I am a liar, that’s right, and I hide the real me,
There’s a side of me that very few people see.
I’m lonely, not strong, but my two faces disagree,
The forced laughs, the fake smiles, is just who I want to be.

I am a burden, It’s true, but I’m trying to change.
I always rely on others, it’s not a fair exchange.
I’ll start off slow, until I can find my range.
I’m trying, I’ll get there, even though it feels strange.

My blade bites into my skin,
My mistakes scar my arms,
My tears run down my face,
But I’m still alive.

My friends believe my lies,
My hope begins to dwindle,
The one that matters most stays silent,
But I’m still alive.

Each time feels fresh, it brings anew,
A shining imperfection,
And allows me to hide the truth from you,
While keeping my affection.

The blade on flesh, its sting so bold,
Provides me with direction,
Allows me to voice my thoughts untold,
Gives my resurrection.

Teardrops of blood, they hold my pain,
Allowing my mind to clear.
The release they bring allows me to attain,
My presence without fear.

As I drift, I look around,
There’s still one anchor to the ground.
A fire that won’t go out,
Always questioning my self-doubt.

No matter how far I fall,
It rings out above it all,
A single thread that holds me true,
Regardless of everything blue.

I can’t shut down while its there,
Even though I’ve been stripped bare,
One thing that always breaks through,
The presence that can only be you.

Love’s breath, love’s touch, love’s tender kiss.
Without you, this is something I’d forever miss,
For it is I that has fallen, yes it is true,
Deeply and madly in love with you.

Life’s journey, that took me through good and bad,
Had led me astray, feeling lonely and sad.
But love’s warmth, a feeling that I never knew,
Took over with everything that I feel for you.

For it is you who is always the one on my mind,
And you are the one that I could never leave behind.
For I’ve given my heart completely to you,
And believe that we have a life to pursue.

You are everything I could ever want or need,
I believe in our future, and I know we’ll succeed.
My true love, my Mea, please come with me,
Shed our burdens, build new hopes, and let us be free.

From the first time we spoke,
I knew you were special,
Even though it took so long,
To understand what I was feeling.

And nine months later, I still don’t know,
The full depth of these feelings.
Because with each day, my heart does show,
That my love grows stronger and deeper.

You are my adorable angel,
Perhaps sent from the heavens above,
To halt my misdirection,
To show me there’s true love.

It feels like we’ve always been together,
Like you’ve been with me from the start.
As the day I met you, my heart became whole,
And I wish we were never apart.

For you I’d travel anywhere,
I’d venture far and wide,
For my heart always calls out to you,
Showing my love from deep inside.

I wont ever leave you, my life,
My love for you only grows.
I just want to show you how I feel,
Before this love overflows.

I see us when I look forward,
And now I never look back,
Because it’s you that keeps me alive.
Dear Sally, I am your Jack.

You are forever on my mind,
Always just me and you.
Baby, please stay with me forever,
And I’ll show you my love is true.

A brief thought of time spent with you,
Brings a smile to my lips.
Love’s warmth, slowly spreading,
From my heart to finger tips.

You make me feel truly special,
You make me feel wanted.
You make me want to keep living,
You make me feel understood.

You helped me think of the good things in life,
And because of you, I’m still here today.
I trust that you will never hurt me,
I trust you with my life.

I want to know if you feel the same,
I want to know if we can ever be.
I want to know if you also see,
Just us, together, you and me.

I’m confused and don’t know what to do,
The love I feel is true.
I love you, I want to tell you,
But I just don’t know how.

But no matter how hard
I did seek,
Words came out harsh and
Never sleek.

But the three I found,
Do hold true,
And those three words were
I love you.

So hold me closer, my dear,
So I can whisper in your ear,
I love you baby, oh so much,
And my skin tingles from your touch.

Your lips on mine, is so divine,
A shiver runs right down my spine,
For together we can be set free,
Nothing matters, but you and me.

You have given me so much hope
And through your words you reached so far,
For it is everything you do
That defines who you really are.

You make me feel happy,
When all I felt was sadness.
You make me feel strength,
When all I felt was weakness.

You make me feel wanted,
When all I felt was ignored.
You make me feel loved,
When all I felt was abandoned.

——————————————
This may sound unfinished, and I guess that’s because it is. But I can’t finish it at the moment until I truly know what it is I’m writing about here.

For a darkness from my past
Had returned to me,
My blade had taken over,
Death was all I’d see.

It was you who I found but
Only just in time,
To save me from myself and
To stop my last crime.

You helped me to stop and see,
Made me realize,
That the way to get through this
Was not my demise.

For you I put down this knife,
I won’t try again,
You have helped so much to show
The cure’s not my pain.

After everything you’ve seen,
Knowing what I’ve done,
It just means so much to me
That you didn’t run.

I really want to change all this,
To stop giving all this pain,
Because what hurts you hurts me too,
Especially if I’m to blame.

To change all this will push me,
Because it’s how I’ve lived my life,
But I’m trying to change with all my heart,
To put away this knife.

I no longer want to stay away,
I don’t want to disappear,
Because all that comes from this,
Is others pain and fear.

So when once more I want to leave,
When I think my life is through,
I hope that I can stop and stay,
And talk things through with you.

——————————————
I wrote this for someone I hurt, and I’m really trying to change so I won’t hurt them again.

To my family who hid, you never did know,
Even when I let all these old scars show,
You were blind to the truth, you never could see,
The fake that replaced what once was me.
So I gave up waiting for you to come around,
For this smile masks one who was never found,
And because of this I never wanted you to stay,
I put all my effort into pushing you away.

To the people I let in, though you number few,
I always treasured my time spent with you.
Those were times I was happy, or let misery show,
And when you were there for me my love did grow.
For with you I felt whole, I felt finally free,
I was never afraid to let go, to just be me.
For the truth you were told, but still you did stay,
Until I fell too far and pushed you away.

To those that saw the truth, but didn’t want to believe,
Don’t let this burden you, I wanted to deceive,
Don’t get stuck on the what ifs, for it would hurt me more,
For if you could’ve changed things, you would’ve done before.
I hate to do this to you, and I hate what I’ve become,
But I know of nothing else so I shut it all out and run.
I don’t want to do this, but I can no longer stay,
I must free myself from this lie, and just drift away.

With death on my mind and tears in my eyes,
I hate how my whole life has become one big lie.

With a blade in my hand and tears in my eyes,
All I want to do is leave this life behind.

With the blood flowing freely and tears in my eyes,
I begin to regret my decision to die.